Is the majority of your time spent around boring and uninteresting people that energetically drain you? Well... you are not alone. We personally are constantly amazed how many people we interact with socially, or in any environment where it might be a getting to know others dynamic, how few people ask us much beyond the basic "how you doing?" or "what do you do?" questions. If you have a lot of people in your life that ask you multiple questions in conversation, consider yourself lucky. In America, surface level questions may be peppered a bit, but continuing questions, let alone deeper ones, are rare.
In order to have a superior exchange over the narrow canyons of average thought, discourse cannot be unilateral, if you know that word - being any doctrine or agenda that supports one-sided action. It must be a reciprocal discussion, of give and take, statement and question, to rise up out of a shallow canyon and see some level of horizon one must ask instead of only speak. For we have two ears and one mouth and they are to be used proportionately.
Women are usually better socially, and it's common for men to lose more relationships later in life and then get lonely and shrivel up and die earlier than their female counterparts. Any centrarian living in a blue zone knows that their social lives and community are a key to their life longevity. We know several men, who are very well paid working professionals and the husbands of our wife's friends, that we might see only once every few years, who on the rare occasion we see them, we ask them maybe a dozen questions over the first hour or two, and they never ask us anything. So at some point we stop asking and the conversation stops and as a result they simply dont know much about us, even though we've technically known them at a surface level for over a decade.
Due to the narcissism epidemic, many just want to talk about themselves and what’s going on in their own lives, perhaps not even tracking how much others in the conversation are interested in what they are saying. To keep another pair of ears interested during a discussion at a party, or around a dinner table, or even in a work environment, the speaking party must not just project, but also be willing to receive. Their ears must function as much if not more than their mouth. This entails asking multiple if not frequent questions of others. This is the origin of a bad date. Where two people are at a restaurant and one of them is a blabbermouth valley girl Chatty Cathy doll, unilaterally explaining away all aspects of various social minutia of their life without the reciprocation of ever wanting to know anything about the other which they are supposedly there to get to know. Shallow people just want to talk about themselves, so talking to unsophisticated members of especially the opposite sex in social environments, which pre-internet took place 99% of the time in dens of alcohol distribution, can far too often consist of just nodding and pretending looking one is interested.
Developed by the Greek philosopher, Socrates, the Socratic Method is a dialogue between a teacher and their students, instigated by the continual probing questions of the teacher, in a concerted effort to explore the underlying thoughts that shape the student's life choices. In school, university, or the professional workplace it's common for new recruits to have a fear based mindset and be scared to ask because the moment they ask reveals they don’t know something. In that environment, this will surely be to a potential group of onlookers, fellow students or colleagues. Yet, wanting to know is engaging and lowers the threshold for others to also get involved in the discourse and then usually improves the overall quality of the learning and/or work experience.
When you ask another person "get to know them" questions it shows not only that you have a growth-based mindset, but most importantly, that you care. Because the act of asking questions is a fundamental and powerful tool for human improvement, exploration, and progress - regardless of being in a formal educational context, asking gathers information, facilitates learning, drives innovation, broadens thinking, challenges held beliefs, strengthens communication, allows for problem solving, fosters creativity, encourages adaptation, improves relationships. And sometimes such things can come from the most unexpected people or places, such as from the janitor instead of the Socratic philosophy professor. Those who ask others things, regardless of status, know life provides a never ending education allowing for the ability to be informed, engaged, and enriched.
The quality of your life is the quality of your questions. Why would one ever stop asking questions? We'll get into the importance etymology, the study of the origin of words, in another insight, but it's worth noting that the etymology of Asking = AS KING.